Oh Irene.......

This past week was a trying week for many in Connecticut as we faced days and nights without electricity.  I did not have power for 5 days, but was fortunate enough to have running water, so for me it was like luxurious camping.  My parents, on the other hand, did not get their power back until 4pm today (almost 8 complete days).

It was an interesting test as to how we adjust when there is a big change to our daily lives or habits.  From the conversations I had and from my own personal experience, it wasn't a welcomed circumstance, but in the big picture perspective more like a major inconvenience.  Yet some peoples reactions were for more traumatic.  Some people who lost homes understood they at least had their lives and families.  So perspective was definitely an individual reaction.

We never know what someone else is experiencing or how they process situations, but one thing is for sure everyone's experience of the past week was vastly different.  No right or wrong, just different.  How you responded this week or how you put things in perspective can give you insight as to; how you are in general.  how you handle stress, what's important you, what can you handle when things are tough, what could you live with or without, how prepared were you.

Take a moment to look back over the past week - what are some of the answers to these questions?  What did you learn about yourself?  What did you like, what alarmed you, what were you able to handle that you wouldn't have known about otherwise, what was something you just had to have (I heard many talk about their morning coffee), how did change affect you, how did the unknowing (of when the power would be on) affect you?  How would you describe yourself today compared to the person that went to bed last Saturday night?

We  can all say goodbye to Irene, but she may have taught us some things we would have never had the opportunity to learn about ourselves otherwise.  We may have met neighbors or talked with people that normally we might just pass by.  We also all probably learned we take many things for granted (water, electricity, phone), aren't as prepared as we thought we were (like the emergency kits we "should" have), and that slowing down once in awhile and turning off the electronic world is survivable.

So goodbye Irene, you will not soon be forgotten, for many reasons. Yet in some small way, I'm glad you came.  Although next time, no visit is necessary, just call.

Recommendations for Exploring Awareness

If you are in a place in your life where you are interested in increasing your level of  awareness or exploring a new way of being/thinking, I highly recommend items from Louise Hay and Dr. Wayne Dyer.  As you will see below, it only takes a few lines to really make you stop and think.  Simple, but deep. Enjoy and create your world.

Hay House Daily Meditations

‎"I have within me all of the ingredients for success. Just like the acorn has the complete oak tree within its tiny form, so do I have success within me. I take tiny steps from where I am right now, and I dream big. " - Louise L. Hay

I've Been Away

It's been way too long since my last post, but I am happy to say I'm back.

One of the areas I specialize in is Life Transitions and a major life transition is why I was on a small sabbatical.  I'm happy to say it wasn't anything tragic, but involved a change of residence, two new jobs, and a final move into a new home.

All of this transition has pretty much been the peak of about five years worth of change.  Now if you had asked anyone who knew me five years ago about how I felt/dealt with change they definitely would have said, it's not in her vocabulary.  Yet the funny thing about change, whether it's by choice or thrown your way, is you have very few options.  You either face it and take the necessary steps to adjust and adapt or you go into denial, act like it's not real and before you know it, find your life slipping away.  I am happy to report that even though it was a struggle, I plowed through it.  Then every-time I exhaled and said okay, now I can get on with the rest of my life I was dealt another blow.  So I realized the universe or some higher power was telling me, you still have some things to learn and changes to make, yet you've proven you're capable of handling it, so keep moving forward.  Which I have and now, even though I don't always like it, I embrace change that comes my way because I know there is some lesson here for me to learn and I will be right where I'm suppose to be when I get to the other side.

Very few people like change, even change that makes life better or happier, because change means different - good or bad, but change is inevitable in life.  Actually one of the only consistent things in life is change, but so many people resist it, try to avoid it, do everything they can to try to control their environments just to fend off change - yet it shows up anyway.  So now what?  Change shows up, you're faced with a transition.  Do you stand up, stare it in the face (or maybe give it a side-ways glance), and start to make the necessary adjustments or do you run away screaming, hoping it's all a bad dream?

Honestly, most people probably do the later first because who immediately embraces it and says bring it on, but once that initial shock is over, what do you do? If it were as easy as a,b,c, then change wouldn't be so bad.  Each person will address their issues differently, take different steps and actions, but there are a few simple things to keep in mind to help you down that road.

• Be kind to yourself.  We are usually our own biggest critic, but this is a time to push that critic to the side, tell em' to take a hike (maybe they'll leave for good).  You have to take care of you first during this time. Do something(s) that make you feel good.  A bath, a hike, yes eat that hot fudge sundae, just stop, plop, and read a book, watch your favorite movie.  Something that you enjoy, brings comfort,and will recharge you and give you some strength to face what's ahead.  Repeat as needed.

• Avoid or stop the blame game - when facing a change, especially a difficult one, our tendency is to deflect the difficult feelings and want to blame someone, make it someone's fault, then we'll feel better.  All that will do is keep you stuck in the muck.  Blaming anyone, another person or yourself, will only keep the feelings raw and exposed, delaying the healing and adjustment time.  Yes, you most likely will have angry and unpleasant feelings about the situation, but ruminating won't "change" what has happened.

• Journal, find a solitary place you can yell as loud and as long as you want, cry, exercise - or anything that gets it out.  You do not want to keep the many feelings locked inside - they will eat you alive.  Now during this time, say, write, do whatever you want - just get it outside of YOU - release it.  As always with any of these - avoid things that could cause you or anyone else harm or injury - so be smart and careful.

• Meditate, do Yoga, or Pilates - many people discover these wonderful activities out of a need to help with coping or making a life adjustment.  The reason being they teach you about being in the moment, being mindful of what is present, connecting your mind and body, helping you with inner strength by slowing down the world around you.  These activities won't fix your situation, but they do help you cope and accept things by learning you only have this moment you're in right now.  The past is gone, the future hasn't come - what are you going to do in this moment is all that matters.

• Turn back the clock - connect back to some of your interests from your youth or teen-age/college years.  Many times things we use to do and enjoy were left behind as our grown up life got in the way.  By re-connecting to one of these activities you may find it's good therapy or even re-kindle a passion you long forgot about, but now takes you in a new direction.  Maybe you were very good at art, you loved the freedom of being on a bike, blowing bubbles were a fascination, or baking cookies. 

Doing all of these things, none of these things, or something else that comes to mind won't replace the challenges you're facing, but they just may be the remedy that gives you the ability to respond to your changes in an empowering way.  Allow yourself to ride the wave, instead of trying to hold it back  - the ride may be bumpy, but far less dangerous than water crashing down all around you thrashing you along the bottom of the ocean floor.

So open up your arms, look to sky, and tell the universe to bring it on - I can handle it and I will be okay.  Then before you know it, you'll actually take on every day looking for change, knowing that's how we truly live and how we deeply grow.  Transition and change are temporary - remember the only permanent thing in life is impermanence.  Go discover, connect, and succeed.

What Have You Heard Today

What have you heard today that;
made you stop and think 
made you smile 
made you mad
you never knew before
What have you heard today that;
made you want to get up and change the world
was an idea to add to your bucket list
made you want to dance or sing out loud
What have you heard today?
a bird trying to welcome in spring
a baby's laughter that just made you giggle
a song from your childhood
What have you heard today????

So much swirls around our busy lives, in this crazy world, that we miss so much.  Yet when you stop to take a moment you can discover so many things.  So stop and listen - you never know what you will hear, what you will experience.  Take a breath, take a moment, take a listen - Now you will know what you have heard today. 

Losing 26 Games in a Row - Does Not Make You A Loser

Whether you follow sports or not you may have heard of the losing streak of the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball team, 26 games in a row, before finally winning last night.  Much was said regarding the reason the team was struggling, mainly though, due to the loss of Lebron James to the Miami Heat.  Yet this group of men were just deemed losers, not caring, quitters.  But unless they collectively expressed this about themselves or just called in sick and didn't play the games, no one should ever speak so harshly about another.

I know first hand what it is like to get caught in a losing streak.  Never once did my players quit or not care.  If anything, they cared even more and tried even harder.  But what it did do was greatly effect their self-esteem and personal beliefs in their own abilities.  They then found themselves not only facing the opponent in the other dugout, but the greater foe of themselves.  They were also fighting off what was being written about them in the paper, said in the classroom, and the questioning of why they "sucked" (outsiders words, not ours).  So extra time was then spent tackling confidence and mental strength.  Together we stayed the course and I KNOW it made them stronger and better people because they endured when no one thought they could.  It built character, gave them greater appreciation for the little things, and insight into themselves.

So the next time you're quick to throw out an opinion on someone else, stop.  You never know what they are going through or what effort they are putting forth.  Winning is easy, Losing is hard. Winning is crowded, Losing is lonely.  Winning is the popular kid, Losing is the class geek.  But at the end of the day give me the person who has come through the struggle and still standing tall, they know how to endure.  They'll have your back when the going gets tough.  They'll know how to handle adversity, overcome the lows.
The losers will be the real winners because they never quit.

Weathering the Storm

The winter of 2010-2011, here in Connecticut, has seen record breaking snow fall and temperatures.  Like clock work, a major storm hit weekly since the blizzard the day after Christmas.  There is at least 50 inches of accumulated snow outside my window.  Roads are narrow, driving is risky, roofs are caving in and we wait to see the results of the predicated ice storm hitting overnight.  Yet even with all this nasty weather, gray skies, and melancholy days spring is about 45 days away.

Spring, the season of new beginnings, fresh growth, and renewed possibilities.  The snow may not be all gone, heck it may not be gone until May, but eventually it will melt.  Cold days will give way to cool breezes, flowers will pop through, and soon it will be too hot.

So what does this tell us?  It tells us and what we can learn is that no matter what situation or circumstance we are presently in, no matter how bad things may seem right now - it will change.  Nothing is permanent, not even all this snow.  By facing the moment you're in and realizing whatever you are feeling is only temporary, you'll make better choices, suffer less, and be more open to self-reflection.  This awareness may lead you down a different road next time around.   Good or bad, happy or sad, hot or cold, it's only temporary.

The snow will melt, the temperatures will rise, the days will get brighter.  So weather the storm, that too will pass.  Weather, feelings, bad days, happy days, all come and go.  Stay open and ready for whatever today presents and tomorrow brings.